Understanding School-Based Anxiety and Trauma: A Hidden Crisis for Neurodivergent Children

For many neurodivergent children and young people, school isn’t a safe or predictable place — it’s a daily source of fear, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion. Families often describe mornings filled with distress, physical symptoms of anxiety, and heartbreaking pleas of “I can’t go.”

This is not about defiance or laziness. It’s about school-based anxiety and trauma — a deeply misunderstood response to environments that simply don’t meet a child’s sensory, emotional, or developmental needs.

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What Is School-Based Anxiety and Trauma?

School-based anxiety occurs when a child’s nervous system associates school with stress, unpredictability, or danger. Over time, this can escalate into trauma — where the body and brain remain in a state of high alert, even when the immediate “threat” is gone.

For neurodivergent children, this might stem from:

Sensory overload (bright lights, noise, crowds, smells)

Repeated experiences of failure, misunderstanding, or exclusion

Masking for long periods to appear “okay”

Inconsistent or punitive behaviour systems (e.g. sanctions, points, or isolation)

Lack of trust in adults to keep them safe

Trauma in this context isn’t always from a single event — it’s often the slow accumulation of stress and invalidation.

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How Does It Look in Real Life?

School-based trauma can manifest differently for every child, but some common signs include:

Emotional distress before or after school

Physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches, or nausea

Sleep disturbances or nightmares

Regression in skills or confidence

Emotional “shut down” or explosive meltdowns

Perfectionism, withdrawal, or masking during the school day

Sudden refusal to attend, often labelled as “school avoidance”

Behind every refusal is a story of survival. These children aren’t being difficult — they are communicating that something about their environment isn’t right for them.

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How Can We Begin to Unpick It?

1. Listen to the child – Their voice is the key. What do they find hardest? What helps them feel safe?

2. Gather the evidence – Keep a diary of triggers, patterns, and physical signs. This can help professionals understand the why.

3. Request a review of provision – If the child has an EHCP, ensure Section F reflects trauma-informed support and sensory regulation needs.

4. Reduce demands and rebuild trust – Pressure won’t restore safety. Start small, focus on connection before correction.

5. Involve the right professionals – Educational Psychologists, Occupational Therapists, and SEMH specialists can help map out a safe reintroduction plan if appropriate.

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Can Play or LEGO® Therapy Help?

Absolutely — play-based approaches can be a bridge to healing. Play allows children to process experiences, rebuild trust, and express themselves safely when words are too hard.

LEGO® Therapy, for example, fosters communication, cooperation, and emotional regulation through structured, low-pressure teamwork. It also gives children a sense of mastery and belonging — two vital ingredients in recovery from school trauma.

However, these interventions only work when a child’s environment is safe and supportive. They can’t thrive if the classroom continues to trigger the same stress responses.

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Do Classrooms Need to Change? Absolutely.

A child in crisis doesn’t need more resilience training — they need a calmer, more compassionate space.

Imagine schools designed around sensory regulation, emotional safety, and flexibility:

Low-stimulation, natural lighting

Calm corners and sensory pods

Flexible timetables and safe exits

Trauma-informed staff who recognise dysregulation as communication

Focus on relationships, not rewards and punishments

When schools shift from control to compassion, attendance improves naturally — because children feel seen, valued, and safe.

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Final Thoughts

School-based anxiety and trauma aren’t rare — they’re just rarely understood. Recovery doesn’t happen through attendance plans or threat of fines, but through safety, connection, and trust.

As parents, carers, and professionals, our role is to help schools see beyond behaviour and build environments where neurodivergent children can truly belong — not just attend.

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🕊️ Written by Rebekah Herbert

SEND Law Advocate | IPSEA Trained | Founder of Independent SEND EHCP Support

Helping families co-produce legally robust, trauma-informed EHCPs that work in the real world.